The Doormat Medal

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Now circulating for approval round the US command in Kabul, Afghanistan is a proposal for a medal to be awarded to members of the US armed forces who show "courageous restraint" in execution of the COIN tactics mischosen and misapplied by General Petraeus and his ilk. This decoration deserves to be called what it is: the Doormat Medal. (Other suggestions: the Dhimmi Cross; the Dhimmi Disc; the Yellow Stain [apologies to Herman Wouk]; the I Have Not Yet Begun To Have Been Allowed To Fight medal; the Allahu Akbar Award; the Afghanistan Highway Safety & Transportation Certificate of Demerit; the "Kick Me" medal; the "By All Means, Do Tread On Me" medal; the WAOU [pronounced "Wow."] - Walk All Over Us - award; the Anti-Campaign medal; the Punching Bag Star; the Eat Shit And Die medal; the Why We Don't Fight medal; and the Loser's Badge.)


If this "honor" is indeed instituted, then I will want a custom rug woven in the color pattern of its ribbon, so that each time I enter or exit my home I'll walk all over it and think hard on the lives of our boys and girls surrendered gratis to the enemy - the lives handed, by our spineless "leaders", unnecessarily, avoidably, and unconscionably to the enemy under the horrifyingly misconceived, appallingly inapt, utterly stupid kid gloves COIN "strategy." Nothing like sending the right message to our enemies, is there?